To Feel
by Dark12light
Summary: Ulrich comes back from summer vacation focused on not letting Yumi distract him. Fat chance. However, it seems she is going to change his life in a whole new way. You can only guess how.
1. To be Foreign

_Disclaimer: I don't own Code: Lyoko_

_A/N: It's a new story, whoo. Blehhh, I feel kind of off today._

_Anyway, forget my rantings. I've tried not to make this introduction that confusing._

* * *

When you have to go to a foreign boarding school like I do, you tend to travel long distances over long periods of time to get home during summer breaks. Actually, it's not really a bad thing. I really do care about my parents, but I have better things to do, you know? So when I finally arrive home, I immediately shut myself in my untouched room with my door locked and my suitcase abandoned on the floor... just to get back in contact with my friends back at Kadic. Boy, am I hopeless.

I was the only one in the group that had been signed up to go home during vacation. Everyone else was staying back at Kadic to fight XANA on Lyoko, according to my knowledge. Now why in the world did my parents request that I come home? It makes no sense. After all, I know that it hurts my father to look at me, and my mother does not even know my age!

I sneeze once, a result of the accumulated dust on the desk, and I sign onto my ancient instant messaging software. The familiar and embarrassing screen name comes up - germansoulwarrior01 - and I'm pleased to see that at least one of my friends can comfort me during this time of immense grief.

**germansoulwarrior01 **: i cant believe i got signed up to go home. this sucks majorly

**purplekingXD **: hey! whatsup?

**germansoulwarrior01 **: nuthin much. hbu?

**purplekingXD **: usual. xana attack but we handled it. ]

**purplekingXD **: we don't NEED you

**purplekingXD **: JK JK hahahahaha! really fooled u, huh?

I roll my eyes once before replying, biting back a smile. His enthusiasm is infectious, even when we are kilometers away from one another.

**purplekingXD **: yumers had some trouble gettin out of Lyoko and einstein freaked out about it.

germansoulwarrior01 : and what?

**purplekingXD **: no worries! i saved the day :] quit bitin ur nails about it

**purplekingXD **: gtg. dinner, yano? cya l8er purplekingXD has signed off.

I sigh, leaning back so that my computer chair tips back. I already feel left out. Being one warrior short is not a chance that Jeremie usually takes, but my parents would find it suspicious if I preferred to spend another two months at school instead of at home. Personally, I would choose school over home anytime, but of course, I had no choice. I never do.

"Ulrich, dinner!" calls my mother from downstairs. With a groan, I spin out of my seat and trod out of my bedroom. Time to face the parents.

* * *

"Are you serious?" she bursts in aggravation, her pretty face temporarily painted with a scowl. "It's been done a few times already, and the results have been perfectly-" She drops her hands to her thighs tiredly, her facial expression a complete negative to the professional stance she was holding. "How many times do we have to do this?" Her hair is frazzled around her face, some evidence of sweat on her face.

"We need to make sure nothing happened," he interrupts, continuing to flawlessly press the keys with precision. "Last time this happened to you, you were a clone and almost got away with nearly destroying the scanner room."

"How do we know you're the real Yumi?" chirps Odd with a malicious grin on his face.

"Shut your scrawny mouth, Odd!" exclaims Yumi angrily, backing away from the hungry boy after lightly shoving him away. She turns back to the computer genius, whipping out her finger to scold him. "And I'm getting home, all right? I don't need anymore of these tests." Admittedly, she is rather exhausted, but she's not going to stand around and be harassed for some casual signs of fatigue.

She's tired of being the victim of XANA's attacks and being babied around by everyone, especially by Odd. Isn't she the oldest person here anyway?

"We'll see you tomorrow morning," compromises Jeremie reluctantly. He taps the keys a few more times before turning to face Odd and Yumi. "Your parents shouldn't mind, since it's the summer and all..."

"Yeah..." trails off Yumi, covering her mouth as she yawns. "Listen, I'll come by tomorrow, okay?"

What she also doesn't want to admit is the surge of pain that begins to start pulsing in the back of her head. With each step home, the pain comes on stronger, gradually speeding up on her descent. Upon arriving home, she slams the front door closed and walks upstairs with the intent of falling into her futon to get some sleep.

By the way, she never does make it to that meeting the next day.


	2. To be Back

_A/N: Now we're in present tense, and finally beginning the story. The last chapter was just a taste of what you will be reading._

* * *

Even the air smells better in France than Germany.

Am I the only one who can actually make that comparison? My mother says that she can't tell, and my father says that my imagination is the reason why I failed so many of my classes. See? I just love my family. They are _so _supportive of me.

Of course, I am being sarcastic. Just being around my parents for a few months made me suicidal. I'm not saying they are bad parents. Of course not. It is just that they are bad parents for _me_, if that makes sense.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as the car stopped by a familiar house at a traffic light. I could tell from the buildings that we were just a few minutes away from Kadic. Just another block, and we would be passing Yumi's house.

My new camouflage backpack was squished between my back and the car seat. I exhaled, my thumbs fidgeting on my lap as I attempted to relax. But how could I? I was going to see everyone: Odd, Jeremie, Aelita, Yumi... The car accelerated, my body lurching forward against the seat belt, and I sent a lingering glance back towards Yumi's house.

Anxiety was radiating out of my body when we stopped at another traffic light. I peered over the rear view mirror, and I saw Kadic's familiar front gates ahead. I will be seeing everyone else soon. Had any of them changed while I was away? Were Jeremie and Aelita finally together? Was Yumi finally with William?

I am not saying I would _agree _to that. It is just possible with me being so far away during that long period of time is all. The small, optimistic part of me wished that possibility turned into an impossibility. But I made a resolution over the summer to forget my feelings about her. These feelings would result to nothing. It would solve nothing. I just had to get over them. She was just a silly crush after all.

I pulled my hair back nervously, pushing my seat belt loose when we stopped in front of the gates. I hopped out of the car, pulling my suitcase out onto the sidewalk after me. I gave my mother a quick goodbye, closed the door and took a deep breath as I stood in front of the school. I winced upon hearing my mother drive away quickly.

Walking slowly, I looked ahead towards the vending machines where we all agreed to meet after summer break. With my heavy suitcase rolling behind me, I walked on ahead until I spotted that familiar purple dot.

"Hey look, it's Ulrich!" exclaimed Odd, waving his forearm excitedly when he caught me walking towards them. Both Jeremie and Aelita turned to spot me as well. But there was no sight of Yumi with them.

"Hi Ulrich," greeted Aelita warmly as we shared a hug. I gave both Jeremie and Odd high fives before standing under the shade with Odd. "We've missed you."

"Same. Germany is so boring. Not only was I with my dad the entire time, I had to relearn another impossible language," I replied, rolling my eyes as I did so. Odd was smirking at me when I finally rested my suitcase at my feet.

"Any hot girls there?" he inquired. Jeremie stared upwards in disbelief at the comment as Aelita raised an eyebrow. Odd's eyes raised in realization when he caught my ridiculing look, ignoring Aelita and Jeremie's extreme reactions toward his question. "Speaking of hot girls, I bet you're wondering where Yumi is, right?"

My subconscious was screaming, "Where the heck is Yumi?" Of course, Odd had to be in line with that annoying voice in my head. I glared at him as Jeremie and Aelita hid their chuckles. Odd gave me that mischievous look of his, some of his white canines shining between his lips evilly.

Maybe that's just my imagination.

But where was she? We all promised that we would meet on time by the vending machines, and she was not here. Did something happen to her? Oh gosh, nothing better had happened to her. The one summer that I have to go with my parents...

"Stop freaking out!" exclaimed Odd, shaking my shoulders just enough to make my vision dizzy. "She's not with William. She told us that she would be staying with her family in Japan over the summer. Last time I spoke to her, she said she would be kinda late today. Something about turbulence and aunts."

Of course, right on point. I would just like to stop him from being in line with my conscience sometimes. Just ONE smack would-

"Oh boy, you're gonna love it today," replied Odd, throwing his arm over my shoulders as he led me away. I grimaced uncomfortably, inching away from him.

* * *

I had already put all of my clothes and items away when Odd received the call. The familiar "break, break, break dance" ring tone rang loud and strong, and I could not help but try to hide my smile when I heard it. He replied loudly, leaving me to relax from my clothes-fest.

After a few, short responses that I paid no attention to, he pushed his phone in his pocket. "Yumi's here."

I felt my heart beating in my chest as I began to mentally count down the seconds, my resolution forgotten.

"Are you okay, Ulrich?" Odd asked with a look of pleasure as he watched me squirm from where I was sitting. "Do you need some medicine?"

I took a deep breath, glaring at him as I exhaled. "Shut UP, Odd."

* * *

_A/N: Ulrich's been doing a lot of fidgeting this chapter, hasn't he? Well, please review if you have any constructive criticism :D_


	3. To be Noticed the Wrong Way

My heart was still fluttering, my brain sending tingles down my back and up again around my arms. I still had goosebumps that were so apparent that I wish I had worn a long-sleeved shirt. But people would have noticed.

I do _not _like being noticed.

"Hold on, Romeo. It takes a long time to get here from her house," Odd reassured me, teasing me at the same time. I glared at him while rubbing along my upper arm, urging the little giveaway bumps to disappear. Why now, of all times? Why not tomorrow? Or next week?

Or never?

"You look constipated," he laughed. I exhaled, not even realizing that I was holding my breath. Man, I bet I look like a swollen red apple about to explode. That would represent how I am feeling right now.

"Where is she?" I attempted conversation, resting my back against the rough brick wall. I resisted a wince, trying to appear strong-willed for any onlookers. My back was sore now.

I have no idea how Yumi does it all of the time.

"Hold on!" Odd exclaimed impatiently. I glared at him momentarily as he continued. "She just left her house. We ran out here, after all. Didn't you say that it took her like several minutes to walk-"

"Shut up." I stood on the tips of my toes, looking out into the distance to look for the familiar black turtleneck and pants with the exposed midriff.

"Touchy, touchy," he teased me. I ignored him, leaning back against the wall. It would not look proper to look so excited for her. Any stranger would think that I just heard the Subdigitals were coming or something. "Don't worry, she'll be here." He patted my shoulder reassuringly. "You guys were meant to be together."

"Shut up, Odd." I glared at him once before slumping my shoulders. Who knew that waiting was so time-consuming? I would rather go to her than have her come over here. Knowing her, she was probably taking her sweet old time.

"Je t'aime," he grinned. Some passing students looked at him weirdly, and I made sure to lean back to go unnoticed and look normal.

"You're so annoying," I complained in a low mutter. "Why are you here in the first place?"

"I'm thinking about making a documentary," he started, interrupting my question. "Call it, '_Unrequited Love'_ or something like that. No, that line is being overused. Maybe '_Subco-_'"

I frowned, clicking my teeth. "That is so corny, I don't even know what else to say to that."

"It's what I do best." He smiled momentarily before looking over his shoulder at the front gate. "There she is, but um..."

I stood up straight, fixing my shirt as I peered over Odd's shoulder to see that Yumi was coming toward us. She had a small bag over her shoulders as she made her way toward us, her swaying hair covering her face. Why did she look so shy?

"Hi Yumi!" shouted Odd excitedly, waving his arm as if Yumi was not within a few meters away from us. She looked up, shocked by his sudden outburst, then gave him a warm smile and walked forward even more quickly.

She did not look any different, and that fact brought sudden relief to my system. She was untouched, but I could not exactly tell. Her long-sleeved shirt reached down to her long black jeans. Her naval was covered, and I was secretly glad to see that other than that, nothing else changed about her.

"Hey," was her short greeting as she looked between both of us and leaned on the wall next to Odd. "How have your summers been?"

"Great!" exclaimed Odd, interrupting my statement. "I pushed Sissi into the community pool so many times, and I nearly got Jeremie and Aelita together. Plus, we beat XANA-butt, so this summer was nice." He was grinning proudly as he jutted out his chest.

"Germany was not that great," I admitted.

"I would expect that," she said, giving me a small smile before sighing. "It was okay for me over the summer."

A blink of reminder went off in my brain. "How come you never told me you were going to Japan?"

She flushed under my inquiry. "It was a last-minute decision by my parents. Sorry I never told you." Her gaze went back to the ground, and I looked down to see what was so interesting. Nothing so far. It was just black concrete spotted by the occasional gum wads. Why was she avoiding my gaze? Did I do something wrong? I admit that we never kept in contact, but still. Now she was joking around with Odd like it was her mission.

No, Ulrich Stern, you are not jealous. She is not avoiding you. It is just your crazy imagination that will surely help you towards failure.

Now this was just ridiculous.

She chuckled, catching me in her confident gaze. "Do you guys share the same dorm this year?"

Odd nodded his affirmative. "Same room as last year! Talk about lucky."

Yumi murmured some words under her breath before looking over her shoulder. "I think that Sissi is coming our way." She changed the topic swiftly, and without time to spare, we heard the familiar annoying squeal from our favorite pest.

"Ulrich-dear, I missed you!"

I heard a growl from beside me, and I heard her scuffle out, stomping confidently towards the dorms building. She was muttering something under her breath and I could only guess what she was saying. I sighed tiredly. School did not even start yet, and there were already problems going on.

* * *

_A/N: That's the most drama you'll be getting out of me. Don't worry, I guarantee that there will be much more later on in this story. This chapter was really **short**, even for me.  
_


	4. To be a Coward

_A/N: I know that it is sad that I haven't even gone past an entire day yet, but at least I'm moving forward. Be patient, rest yourself in those fluffy moments, and just relax :D_

_Currently listening to "Super Girl" by Super Junior. I'm currently restless and trying to study for my exam tomorrow, but honestly, this multi-tasking thing is not really working for me._

* * *

Out of all of the things I wish I could remember, the time I first met Yumi would be the first thing on the list. It was at this moment I knew that my life would change forever, but I honestly don't remember a second of it. The only fact I know is that I lost a soccer game when she entered school, and that was when my life truly began.

The strange thing is that she does not loathe me at all like other kids do, holding a grudge against my attitude. I am just a bit too nonchalant is all. I have no idea why it is so hard for people to understand that. It's doesn't mean I don't care. I do, but I don't care to show it. Waste of energy and time, if you ask me.

The sun was about to go down, and I was too much of a wimp to get to Aelita's dorm and see if Yumi was still here. Or at least ask if she was still here. I was in the dorm I shared with Odd this year, staring at the ceiling as I played with a white bean bag, tossing it between my hands.

The door opened wide, scaring me so much that I jumped off of my mattress onto the floor. "Hey."

"Oh, hey." My heart was beating wildly as if I was going to bolt, but I restrained myself as if I was not that happy to see her open the door and greet me. As if I expected her to come over after ignoring me for a few hours. She was just falling into my perfectly-lain trap.

She came over to sit on the edge of my bed, trapping me. "Why are you alone? Here to cut yourself?" she joked, smiling as she considered my awkward pose on the floor. I sat up abruptly, fixing my hair out of habit. "Everyone is down at Aelita's room. Why don't you come along and try to help her settle into her room?"

"I don't know," I said, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. I wish Yumi would leave, so that I could sulk by myself about lost opportunities and the only thing I wanted that money couldn't buy.

Her smile was genuine, as if she had not been mad at me for the last couple of hours. "I have to get home soon," she offered. "My dad would freak if he saw you taking me home, but at least spend some time with me before I walk out of that front gate. It's getting boring with Odd teasing Jeremie and Aelita, and classes start in a week."

Of course, she would appeal to me so that it looked as if it was my choice to go down, not hers. Appeal to my ego and win my heart.

She is so manipulative.

She chuckled just as I stood up. "Why were you on the floor? Were you playing hide and seek with Kiwi? And you were hiding?"

"Hey!" I exclaimed defensively, crossing my arms. "I happen to like it on the floor very much."

She laughed out loud, opening the door for both of us. I faked my anger as I locked the door behind me. "What are you laughing about, Ishiyama? Got something to say to my face?" I tried my best in my mock Jim impression.

"Did I say something funny, Ishiyama? You get off that floor and give me push ups!"

She rested her back against the wall, sitting on the floor while wiping the tears from the edges of her eyes. "Ulrich, stop," she begged, a few unbidden chuckles escaping her lips. She stood up unsteadily, leaning against me. "Could we wait before getting to Aelita's room?"

I did not dare look at her face or give her any sign that I was nervous. She was way too close, but I liked it. In a way, it was how she was making up for the months of lost contact. And I did not want Odd to see that look of joy and laughter on her face. It's my first time ever forcing that extreme reaction from her. I don't want Odd to spoil the moment.

"So what's up?" she asked awkwardly, leaning against the wall as she tied her hair back to show off her smooth complexion. Of course.

"Nothing you don't know about," I replied automatically.

"Your life is really that boring?" she asked in disbelief. "Well, I went to Japan and met with my cousins again," she pointed out. "I'm pretty sure something happened when you got to Germany."

"The usual," I responded boredly. "Parents ignored me, friends called, and we played soccer, visited grandparents and cousins, but I know that they don't really care. They never call or send me mail here."

"I'm sorry," she said softly, staring at her hands. "I didn't mean for you to get upset. I truly didn't."

"I'm not upset," I admitted harshly, looking into her eyes to prove my honesty. She obviously saw through my lie with the way she looked away. "It's easier to say the truth when you have accepted it." Before I knew it, I was offering Yumi a hand, and we were both walking down to Aelita's dorm, arms linked.

Though her eyes seemed sincere enough to me.

* * *

_A/N: I know, I hate filler chapters as well._


End file.
